There is no cause for alarm, but as I'm sure you've all heard, the world is expected to end at some point today, Saturday, September 23, 2017. Because... you now... rogue planets and mysterious prophecies, planetary alignment and the number 33. It's a bit technical.
I don't have time to look into it in too much detail, but since as far as I know, every time someone predicts the apocalypse, it happens. So instead of rioting and looting, the most responsible course of action would be to quickly and calmly sell all of your worldly possessions and join us in celebrating life as we have known us at Magic & Martini.
Today only, to welcome the end times, we are offering a special promotion on tickets to the show. Use the code ENDOFTHEWORLD for a discount on tickets purchased online.
Tonight's show in Toronto only has a tiny handful of tickets remaining, but feel free to book for a future date. If you believe in an afterlife and have been well-behaved enough to get into it, our show will be live-streamed for you there.
(Needless to say, if the world fails to end as planned, there will be no refunds.)